"I Lost Myself, Loving Her" (001)

 

Chapter 1: The Departure

It was the morning of September 27, 2024. The air was crisp, carrying the scent of train smoke and the faint aroma of chai from the bustling stalls. Yash stood at Jodhpur Railway Station, his heart weighed down by an unshakable sadness. His eyes, dark with exhaustion, scanned the crowd, waiting for her. Sakhi.

She was late. He had been there since 7 a.m., sipping one cup of tea after another, his hands trembling slightly as he held the warm clay cup. The memory of the past two days clung to him like an unbearable shadow. He had come all the way from Maharashtra, crossing 1300 kilometers just to celebrate her birthday on September 25. Every moment spent with her had been beautiful—laughter, conversations, and the deep connection they shared as best friends. But on September 26, everything changed. Yash had made a mistake—he had fallen in love with her.

He had known it for a long time, but yesterday, standing in that garden, he had finally voiced his feelings. At exactly 12:30 p.m., beneath a sky that transformed from a blinding sun to a mysterious cloudy cover, he had handed her a bouquet of yellow flowers. The wind had howled as if the universe itself had sensed the storm about to unfold within them. It was the first time Yash had ever confessed love to anyone. But love, as he learned, is not always welcomed……

Sakhi arrived at 10:30 a.m., three and a half hours late. Yash’s heart skipped a beat as she finally walked toward him. He straightened, trying to suppress the turmoil inside him. She sat next to him on the worn-out bench, but the space between them felt infinite.

"Do you want a cup of tea?" Yash asked, his voice soft, almost pleading.

Her eyes burned with something unfamiliar—hurt, anger, betrayal.

"Please leave me alone," she snapped, her voice cold and distant. "You’ve hurt me a lot. I don’t want to talk to you. In fact, I don’t want to talk to any of my male friends anymore. I’ve had enough. Every time I get close to someone, I end up getting hurt. And this time, it’s because of you."

Her words cut through him like a blade. Yash’s fingers clenched around the edge of his cup, his breathing uneven. "Sakhi, please try to understand—"

"Understand what?" she interrupted, her voice rising. "That you mistook our friendship for love? That you ruined everything? How dare you do this? Don’t you ever try to contact me again. I don’t want to see your face, Yash. I hate you. Go to hell, and take your so-called love with you!"

The station grew quieter. People were staring, but Sakhi didn’t care. Her voice echoed in his ears like a cruel spell.

Yash swallowed the lump forming in his throat, forcing a small, painful smile. He didn’t want to argue. He didn’t want to hurt her more. He just wanted to remember her as she was before this moment—his best friend, his person.

His hands and legs trembled. His heart pounded like a hammer against his ribs. The words replayed in his mind, over and over again: Don’t ever show me your face. Don’t ever try to make contact with me. This is the end of our friendship.

Just then, the train pulled into the station, the screech of brakes slicing through the thick tension between them. Yash stood up, picking up his bag .He turned to leave, his feet feeling heavier than ever before. But something held him back.

He turned around one last time.

Sakhi was still sitting on the bench, motionless. Her expression was unreadable, but her eyes—those eyes that once held warmth for him—were now clouded with something else. Something close to regret, or maybe sadness.

Yash raised his hand in a silent goodbye. To his surprise, she did the same. No smile, no words. Just a simple gesture, heavy with meaning.

As the train began to move, Yash found his seat in the general compartment. He leaned against the door , watching Sakhi as she sat there, unmoving. The platform started to blur, not just because of the speed of the train—but because of the tears that finally escaped his eyes.

He buried his face in his hands, his body shaking. His heart felt like it had been ripped apart, his breath coming out in shallow, broken gasps.

He had loved her with everything he had. And now, all he had left was silence, distance, and the unbearable weight of a goodbye that was never meant to be.

 

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